WOW

HOLY COW!! There is SO MUCH to write about and I just know I'm not going to have the time sufficient to say it all, so just know that I'll make up for it with my letter today.

FIRST, about our travel plans--we found out just after the TRC on Friday (and just after getting our Mongolia flight plans) that we are being delayed. They must know it is going to be a while because we're leaving about the same time we were leaving for Mongolia...they're not even going to have us wait a few days and see, so it's going to be at least a few weeks, I think. We actually found out just before dinner and just before or just as you were dropping off my eye drops, I think. I'm glad you left quickly because that was a weird day.  

We felt weird finding out that we wouldn't be going to Mongolia after all, and then literally minutes later I had my name called and went to pick up my medicine; then I saw your handwriting and read your note.  The thought that you were so close and I very nearly could've seen you (we were at the travel office in the very same building, and outside our building, where you would've walked right by, for quite some time). It just made me feel really weird, and I really wanted to talk to you since I'd just told you that I was going to Mongolia next week. 

ANYway, the final verdict as to where we are going has not come yet. We were supposed to find out yesterday, but apparently there are a lot of visa delays (Argentina is basically shut down because of swine flu!) and we will know tomorrow. So...I don't know anything yet! Patience is definitely a lesson we are having to learn here, and I'm getting a full dose of it!

But the GOOD NEWS is that whenever it is we find out tomorrow, they said we will get a phone pass!! That means I get to CALL YOU!!! I have no idea what time, but keep your cell phones with you or stay by the home phone, or something. I'll call the home phone first. I think I'll get about five minutes, so not long, but STILL! I get to call :) So you will know my flight plans next week shortly after I do. We could be leaving anytime--Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, to anywhere in the US!!

To be honest, I was very excited when I first found out, but since then I have been slightly worried. One of our teachers made a comment about how we are kind of behind in Mongolian since we didn't have a teacher for so long during the first few weeks here, which made me feel terrible. So the fact that we won't be speaking Mongolian for several weeks kinda freaks me out. But ultimately I'm really really really stoked to go, and I am excited to have such a unique experience, to be able to know what it is like to serve here as well as abroad; to be a greenie twice and kind of learn some of the ropes before adding the language factor in. It'll be awesome!

NEXT, my eye. To make a long story short, my left eye has 2 ulcers on the cornea. Apparently that can happen with contacts and bacteria. 

Needless to say, it has been a bit painful, and I'm wearing my glasses for the time being. I'm on medicated eye drops, and the doctor gave me a refill in case it happens again in the field. It's a good thing I’m getting it treated now because it is very easily treated, but if left untreated, can make you go blind! "Ulcers" sounds worse than it really is; like I said, I thought it was just an allergy thing that wasn't getting better. But I'll be fine soon, hopefully. 

I'm going back to the doctor on Saturday morning. If I’m better, then I'm good to go, wherever it is we're going. If I'm not better, than I will be staying at the MTC for a little extended visit. Sooo....we will see, I guess!! Haha, I guess it's just not possible for me to get out into the mission field without a little opposition!!

It was kind of fun, because we got to take a little field trip in one of the MTC vans down to RiverWoods area for my ophthalmology appointment. It was great. It wasn't at all strange to be out and about in Provo...I lived here for so long that it was totally normal. I guess it was strange how NOT strange it was. The other odd thing was that I was in missionary clothes with a missionary nametag, and feel like I am missionary, but I was doing normal, everyday things. That's just weird, because you don't expect to be out and about in your normal places as a missionary.

That's another reason it'll be unusual to be stateside for a bit--it's like normal life, but as a missionary! Ashley, you're probably saying, "Yeah, duh." But mentally I've been preparing for Mongolia and being in a totally different place with completely different sites and customs, etc., so to be here--especially around Provo, of all places--as a missionary is just different. 

I have totally taken it for granted that I've been surrounded by missionaries all this time. I just expect it. So to have people staring at your nametag or treating you differently (here in Provo, they treat you super nice. Other places, I’m guessing it'll be otherwise in many instances) is just unexpected. You're like, "Of course I’m a missionary. Aren't you?!" 

Well, it's not that dramatic. I don't really know how to phrase this and I’m probably not conveying my point very well, but I guess it was just a bit disconcerting to be out of the ordinary when I’m so used to being with thousands of other missionaries. It's only going to be exacerbated when I get to MONGOLIA!! Sometimes I'll be the only American for miles around!!

All that aside, this has been the most wonderful week, ever. I've just been so HAPPY!!! Definitely the best at the MTC. It's funny how quickly the end came...it's kind of like a lot of other things in life, like school. In the middle of it, you love it, but you look forward to the end so much. You're waiting for it and waiting for it and so excited and antsy. Then you get busy and get back into things, and you stop waiting for the end to come, and it suddenly sneaks up on you. 

Now I don't feel ready to leave, I don't feel like I have learned enough (though we have learned a ton), and I don't feel like I'm qualified to leave the MTC. I don't know how missionaries do it with just 3 weeks here! Regardless of how long we're here, I know we'll hit the ground running and feel a little out of our element. I know for SURE we will in Mongolia, regardless of how well-prepared we feel here. It's just inevitable. But now the end is suddenly here, and I'm wondering where the heck the past 10 or 11 weeks of my life went! In many ways I feel sooo not ready for the field (mostly with the language), but as far as being a missionary, I'm SO EXCITED!!

OK well this email is NOT cohesive, but like I said, as the week has gone on, I've mentally been adding more and more things to my list of things to tell you. I’m just trying to jot down the important stuff now.

One huge thing that I cannot omit is that ELDER HOLLAND CAME AND SPOKE TO US ON TUESDAY! I can't even convey to you how much that meant to me. My DC girls would understand me on this one, since we ran into him with Elder Perry in Times Square last fall, and we are all his #1 biggest fans now (I don't think you can say that about the brethren, but I don't know quite how else to say it). I have read all of his talks a bzillion times and have many of them here with me; I just love him to pieces. I have actually prayed that he would come to the MTC, AND HE DID!! One of the biggest tender mercies, EVER. I just LOVE him so so so much.

He said so many touching things it would be impossible to enumerate them all, but one of the last things he said hearkens back to the talk in the Ensign I mentioned in my email last week. It’s about how we need to embrace all of our missions (or all of life's experiences, in your cases). That even in the hard times, the humbling times, the times when we think we can't go on, we need to embrace those experiences.

Christ suffered all so that we would not have to. Even so, the road to discipleship has never been, and never WILL, be easy. It's always going to go through Gethsemane in some form. So when we are suffering and experience just a minimal taste of what Christ suffered, we are really being so blessed because we are having the opportunity to experience even a fraction of what He experienced.

Of course, Elder Holland said it so much more beautifully than I ever could. But fortunately it was really similar to that article, so go read it if you haven't :) I LOVE ELDER HOLLAND!!!

The best was that as he drove away, we lined the curb. He rolled down his window and called out, "I love you!"

He pointed to me and my companion and said, "Get married!" I died laughing. I love him so much.

Well, there is much more to say, but thank you thank you thank you for the packages, Mom, Uncle Chris, and Paige. I love you so much and you are such a support and strength to me.

The gospel is true! I look forward to talking to you!

Love,

Kristen